The little eggs that could

Day one: We got the call that even though we only retrieved two eggs, both eggs fertilized. 
Day two: We got a call from the nurse in the morning saying that both eggs were "cleaving" nicely and we had one two cell embryo and one 3 cell embryo, and the expectation was to have between 2 and 4 cells.  I was on cloud nine.  Later, the doctor called and said that in the best case, she would like to see a four cell embryo with less than 10% fragmentation.  We had one embryo that was 3 cells with less than 5% fragmentation and a  2 cell embryo with less than 15% fragmentation.  She was hesitant about how the embryos would progress and said that she thought I would have "one fair and one poor" embryo to transfer on day three.
Day three:  The doctor performing the transfer let us know that embryos are graded as good, fair, and poor and we had two "good" embryos to implant.  One embryo was 6 cells and the other was 7 cells.

I wanted to jump up and down and do a dance, but my bladder was so full in preparation for the transfer that I had to dance in spirit only.  Today, two embryos were transferred.  I never thought we would make it to this point.  I know that there is still over a 60% chance that this doesn't work, but I feel like I just won the Superbowl.  This is the closest we have been to a successful pregnancy in a long time. 

I visited my acupuncturist yesterday and determined that I need to go see him more often, and I need to adopt his mindful flow.  He suggested that I visualize being pregnant and I act pregnant.  He said to "be a flake" for the next two weeks and don't do anything that stresses me out, take some days off work, and otherwise let everything go.  He reminded me to breathe, rest, walk in nature, and eat well.  I have been afraid to be excited or hopeful, I didn't want to visualize because it seems so painful to have hope and then have hope squashed.  He reminded me that the pain is there no matter what and I have to live with intention while simultaneously surrendering to God.  He told me not to run from the emotion, but to breathe into it and ride it through, acknowledging it without becoming attached to it.  I am so glad I went to see him the day before my transfer.  It was just the hope, refocusing, and calming influence I needed.

Now I am on strict bed rest for twenty-four hours and then modified bed rest for another 24 hours and only light activity for several days after that.  As I lay on the couch now, writing this blog, I am excited to rest, excited to read, excited to dream and hope that these two little embryos develop into healthy babies.